Today I feel Ugly

It's like you're a drug, It's like you're a demon I can't face down. It's like I'm stuck, It's like I'm running from you all the time. And I know I let you have all the power, It's like the only company I seek is misery all around.

I haven't felt like this in a long time. Questions, running through my head. What was wrong with me? What major defect did I have that made them all feel the need and desire to cheat on me? The fact that they did makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. The whole idea is like a razor that I keep with me to torture myself for days over. I feel so alone, undesirable and unattractive. I feel like a leper or a freak from a carnival.

I don't know why I let myself get hung up over this. But I do. I guess it's cos this last time, I thought I could trust this person. I thought things were genuine and meaningful. But again, something about me pushes them away and toward other, more desirable, women.

Today I feel ugly. I want regret.