Today I feel Ugly

It's like you're a drug, It's like you're a demon I can't face down. It's like I'm stuck, It's like I'm running from you all the time. And I know I let you have all the power, It's like the only company I seek is misery all around.

I haven't felt like this in a long time. Questions, running through my head. What was wrong with me? What major defect did I have that made them all feel the need and desire to cheat on me? The fact that they did makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. The whole idea is like a razor that I keep with me to torture myself for days over. I feel so alone, undesirable and unattractive. I feel like a leper or a freak from a carnival.

I don't know why I let myself get hung up over this. But I do. I guess it's cos this last time, I thought I could trust this person. I thought things were genuine and meaningful. But again, something about me pushes them away and toward other, more desirable, women.

Today I feel ugly. I want regret.

Apple

; _ ; I just lost all of my music. ALL OF IT. And all of my music was removed off the family computer. OMG. I'm gonna CRY!

Waking up is Hard to Do

I can't get this song out of my head. It's so catchy. Say Anything has quickly become one of those bands that I put on repeat. My music listenings have consisted of Cake, Muse, AfI, Placebo, System, Serj, and Say Anything. Those are like the only things that I'll listen to straight for 4 hours while I'm playing WoW. So much to do today. Oh my.

Christmas is like, almost here and I haven't finished anything. Oh dear god. I'm so screwed. God only knows what my grades will be like. Oh poo.

My eye is so gross right now, all gushy and gross. and I'm not hungry. I don't wanna eat anything. I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday. It's weird.

Feed Us

Wired were the eyes of a horse on a jet piolot one that smiled when they flew over the bay.

e___e can't sleep. Can't study. So congested!

Angry Boy, A bit too Insane

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend.

My ears hurt. I think they're infected. Poop.

:sigh: What did I do wrong? I'm getting really tired of feeling bad for him getting sad, especially when I don't know what I did wrong. And he doesn't tell me what's wrong. I don't want to deal with it right now, I just don't.

Battlegrounds

60 HK's today. :P YAY. I'm so excited. 'cept I need to be a higher lvl so I can be l33t and rule the world. :X

Weird week this week. And last week. Crazybonesman.

I'm kind of confused, kind of happy, and kind of hurt all in one. Why did he call. Maybe we can have a normal relationship as friends now. But overall, I still feel kind of hurt, and he should too after all we did to each other.

:/ It was wrong for either of us to do. Maybe we can move past that and just be friends. The just being part is the hard one.