It feels like my feet are tied together, like I'm tripping over shoe laces. I can't stop falling. I can't stop failing.
Baah.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Racism
22.04/04.25.07
So it wasn't Keith that my dad hated. It's all men in general that I bring into this house. It wasn't just one specific person, although the earring, the long hair, and the clothing didn't help. I brought my friend Rawleigh over a few times now, and I added two and two together; my dad is a racist.
I want to kill him. He's so embarrassing. All of my friends are nice. They're funny, outgoing, great people. Why does he have to go out of his way to be rude in front of them, why can't he just go hide out in his hole like he usually does?
I'm angry and frustrated right now. And right now I don't give a fuck about everything that I have to accomplish tomorrow.
Fuck it.
So it wasn't Keith that my dad hated. It's all men in general that I bring into this house. It wasn't just one specific person, although the earring, the long hair, and the clothing didn't help. I brought my friend Rawleigh over a few times now, and I added two and two together; my dad is a racist.
I want to kill him. He's so embarrassing. All of my friends are nice. They're funny, outgoing, great people. Why does he have to go out of his way to be rude in front of them, why can't he just go hide out in his hole like he usually does?
I'm angry and frustrated right now. And right now I don't give a fuck about everything that I have to accomplish tomorrow.
Fuck it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Skip to my Lou
20.25/04.24.07
Skipped school today to hang out with my Peng'in. Took a two hour nap. Came home around 6 and had dinner. God I'm beat, and it's only 8.30... e_____e
Skipped school today to hang out with my Peng'in. Took a two hour nap. Came home around 6 and had dinner. God I'm beat, and it's only 8.30... e_____e
Friday, April 13, 2007
Smokin' Aces?? Blam blam blam??
"Can you still remember how it seemed that we could live forever in a lover's dream?"
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Hey Jude..
19.39/04.09.07
So Laura texts me that JT jumped off a bridge sunday morning and they cant find his body. And I walk in to school finding most of my shit that was pilferrable, pilferred. Fucking great day. Lemme tell ya.
So Laura texts me that JT jumped off a bridge sunday morning and they cant find his body. And I walk in to school finding most of my shit that was pilferrable, pilferred. Fucking great day. Lemme tell ya.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
The Gleanings of an Empty Heart
20.21/04.05.07
Everywhere I go, there are reminders. The trees we used to climb; meetings in the graveyard, except, this one leaves and doesn't walk hand in hand with me and my dog home. This one leaves to his car and drives away, alone, sad, angry, I don't know. Just away, away to being alone.
The quack of ducks, barefooted walks through grass, rolling down those grassy hills, playing hide and seek, watching the venture brothers, listening to HIM and the Offspring, seeing his mom everyday behind the counter, bunnies, Doom, Family gatherings, cards, pictures, friends, pages, journals, drawings, stickers, buttons, sounds, smells, touch. Everything. Food, places, people, engines, vans, blues, blacks, laughs, shoes, pants, shirts, earrings, dreams, nightmares, tears, pain. Everything. Words, colours, games, WoW, children laughing, movies, soup, symbols, apples, CDs, songs, pants, pillows, patterns of light, shapes, drives, sleep. Everything.
He's everywhere, in everything. What do I want? Faxe once said: "The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next." It's true. You can't live your life by planning your months and weeks play by play, you can't even do it day by day. You have to live your life as it comes to you. Roll with the punches.
Everywhere I go, there are reminders. The trees we used to climb; meetings in the graveyard, except, this one leaves and doesn't walk hand in hand with me and my dog home. This one leaves to his car and drives away, alone, sad, angry, I don't know. Just away, away to being alone.
The quack of ducks, barefooted walks through grass, rolling down those grassy hills, playing hide and seek, watching the venture brothers, listening to HIM and the Offspring, seeing his mom everyday behind the counter, bunnies, Doom, Family gatherings, cards, pictures, friends, pages, journals, drawings, stickers, buttons, sounds, smells, touch. Everything. Food, places, people, engines, vans, blues, blacks, laughs, shoes, pants, shirts, earrings, dreams, nightmares, tears, pain. Everything. Words, colours, games, WoW, children laughing, movies, soup, symbols, apples, CDs, songs, pants, pillows, patterns of light, shapes, drives, sleep. Everything.
He's everywhere, in everything. What do I want? Faxe once said: "The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next." It's true. You can't live your life by planning your months and weeks play by play, you can't even do it day by day. You have to live your life as it comes to you. Roll with the punches.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
The War We Wage
17.01/04.04.07
...is it even intentional? It's probably just another figment of my imagination, missing something, missing someone; dreaming of another day, another time and place. I wonder if he even reads this. I doubt it. I'm just another exgirlfriend.
Aside from that, I'm feeling a bit deflated this afternoon. Blaaah.
...is it even intentional? It's probably just another figment of my imagination, missing something, missing someone; dreaming of another day, another time and place. I wonder if he even reads this. I doubt it. I'm just another exgirlfriend.
Aside from that, I'm feeling a bit deflated this afternoon. Blaaah.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Word of the Day: Dji'warr
10.01/04.02.07
The word of the day is Dji'warr, pronounced Di'jeh warrr, meaning sky.
I don't think I'll ever see Jack again. lol I loaned him my PS1 and a couple games. He's never coming out into the light again. He has a very intense and addictive personality. So all that talk about missing me and wanting to see me everyday probably means nothing now, and his time will just be consumed by Cloud and Zidane.
Oh well, boys will be boys, right?
The word of the day is Dji'warr, pronounced Di'jeh warrr, meaning sky.
I don't think I'll ever see Jack again. lol I loaned him my PS1 and a couple games. He's never coming out into the light again. He has a very intense and addictive personality. So all that talk about missing me and wanting to see me everyday probably means nothing now, and his time will just be consumed by Cloud and Zidane.
Oh well, boys will be boys, right?
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